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Tuesday, November 29, 2016

Dear Jaxon | Two Months Old

Dear Jaxon,

Today, you're two months old. That sentence was difficult for me to write. I have watched children that I love and care about grow up and always known that it happens too quickly, but watching you has amazed me. You are a little bigger and a little different each and every single day. One half of me loves seeing you learn new things and get stronger and smarter and more curious about the world around you. I love that you laugh and smile and talk with me every morning. I love the way that you watch Izzy as she circles around you, always making sure that she can see you. I love the way you light up everyday when your dad gets home from work. Every new thing you discover that you can do leaves me proud and ecstatic.
The other half of me, however, is just a little bit sad at how quickly these changes have come. I look at pictures of you from just a few weeks ago and the difference is astounding. Facial expressions that you made in your first week of life are no longer making their appearance, replaced by something new. I'm a matter of weeks away from having to pack up your three month size clothes because they're starting to get tighter on you and you're about to go up a size in diapers. You eat through five ounces of formula like it's your job (which, you know, it kind of is) and I have a feeling that you'll soon be eating that sixth ounce by this time next month. Maybe even sooner. No amount of child care experience, no amount of reading and researching, nothing could have prepared me for how fast these changes come.

Of course, all of these things are good changes. You're smart and healthy and strong. You are the most beautiful baby I have ever laid eyes on, and I am totally not just saying that because I'm your mom. It's true. You are sleeping for eight hours at night and even though you never left me truly, horribly sleep deprived, eight hours of straight sleep is a whole lot better than three hour stretches. You really are everything I could have dreamed of and more. Daddy and I consider ourselves to be the luckiest parents in the world.

I hope that as you grow and change and learn, you always know how much we love you. I hope you know that with each new thing that you do, we are proud of you and to us, you will always be the greatest boy in all of the world. Even when you don't light up when you see us, as if we're the best things you've ever seen. Even when we're driving you crazy and you're doing the same for us. Even when you're grown and don't need us the way you do right now, there will never come a day when we don't love you with all of our hearts. You are our world, my little love.

Sunday, November 13, 2016

Six Weeks Later

Jaxon at one week old. Photo credit: Deanna Ruth Photography
It's been six weeks since I delivered my beautiful baby boy. It seems completely insane to me that it has been six weeks already. And yet at the same time, I struggle to remember what life was even like before he was born.
I have been soaking up every minute of my maternity leave. Most days are full of snuggles, play time and me trying to get things done during nap time. Although the last few days, Jaxon has appeared to be having a growth spurt and therefore, naps only happened if I was holding him. Considering the fact that someday, he won't want to sleep on my chest anymore, I don't put up much of a fight on these clingier days. I use those days to catch up on shows on my DVR or Netflix.
As for my little man - he amazes me daily. I may be biased, but I am convinced that he is advanced for his age. At six weeks, he has been smiling real smiles at us for weeks. He "talks" to us when we are talking/singing to him. He has been holding his head up on his own more and more and even tries to grab my fingers and pull himself up when I have him laying against my legs when we're playing. As of his one month doctor's appointment, he weighs 10lbs 7oz and is 22.4 inches long. He eats four ounces every 3-4 hours and has been sleeping through one of his night feedings for almost two weeks now. His favorite things to do are sit in my lap while I sing to him, go for car rides and newly, laying on his play mat. But his absolute favorite time of day is when his Daddy gets home from work. He may be all about Mommy snuggles, but he is absolutely obsessed with Daddy! He is the best thing in the world.
Izzy, of course, still adores him. They're going to be the best of friends when he gets bigger and can actually play with her. She still hovers around him and when I put him down for a nap in another room (we're trying to slowly introduce him to his crib for when he eventually sleeps in there full time), she waits outside of the door and starts whining if she hears him make a noise. She is also very protective whenever someone comes to visit her boy. Everyone must have her approval to see him and she will watch you like a hawk while you hold him. I try my best to still give her lots of attention, but she doesn't seem to miss it - she'd rather be watching Jax.
As for me, I am finally starting to feel like myself again. We've settled into as much of a rhythm and routine as you possible can with a newborn and since he's letting me get some decent sleep at night, I feel much more functional. I just had my six week postpartum checkup and am healing well. I never in a million years thought that I would say this, but I am looking forward to getting back to exercising on a regular basis. I have actually missed following the Tone It Up plan and can't wait to get back into it. It's not even about weight - even though my body isn't back to normal, I am shockingly not that worried about it. For someone who has spent so much time being body conscious, I don't really care what my body looks like right now. It grew and delivered my sweet little one. But I have missed the way that my body feels when I am working out regularly and, of course, I'm going to need to be in shape so that I have energy to chase Jaxon around when he gets mobile!

Life with this boy has been the biggest blessing and while part of my wants him to stay my little cuddle bug forever, I can't wait to watch him grow and learn and explore. We truly were blessed with the best little boy :)